Be your own hero..

Erm.. How do I start off this blog..?

Ok well, It's been a long time since I blogged and to be honest I'm not going to even make an excuse for the lack of posts. However I wanted to write one today because I had this feeling where I just need to say a few things, even if nobody even reads it (but if you do I hope in some way it helps or reaches out to you).

I've recently learnt to love the life I live, even the shitty parts. I haven't had a smooth run, but has anybody?
I spent years depressed and anxious; scared to live. This is the first time I've ever admitted that to anyone apart from my family and very close friends, but I've learnt to slap a fuck it on what people think, why should I be ashamed of the fact I suffered? Why should any of us?
I realised the only person who could save me was myself, so I made selfish choices for the first time ever and I decided that I need to put me first. The best choices I've made have been the scariest ones, the once with no certainty, that being said I have never been more content for doing so.. mainly because I love playing with fire haha!
I find myself avoiding any situation which may put me in a position where I may need to settle, because that's not me anymore. I will never settle for anything or anyone who/that doesn't bring anything to my table. I am here living my life and I live it exactly the way I want. I am not scared to tell people exactly how it is, if someone pisses me off they know. If anyone screws me over once rest assured I won't let them screw me over twice. Some call it brutal, I call it strength, just because I walk away from situations or people, it doesn't mean that it's easy and that I don't hurt. I just know that if I aren't where I need to be I have to leave vice versa; if they aren't where they need to be I need to set them free too, even if as much as I wished I could be everything someone needs, if I'm not they have the right to go find someone who is. Letting go is the hard part but holding on is what gives you the pain.
We all have a choice, a choice to be happy everyday when we wake up we have that choice!
I just want those who are/have suffered like me to know you are not alone in this world, you just have to find the strength inside to fight for the life you want, be your own hero, stop trying to find a hero in others as you can never rely on anyone the way you can rely on yourself. You will just end up disappointed, forever pondering questions that nobody can give you answers to, because the truth is you are the only one who can answer them, you just need to search a little deeper within yourself for the answers. I know it seems that I'm making it sound easy, I know its not easy its taken me 5 years to get to this place but if I can do it, so can you.

'Life is fleeting' - no truer phrase I have ever heard. We are all alive, but can you honestly say you are 'living'? Do you wake up in a morning and think 'I am blessed for this breath and I am blessed for the people and things I have in my life'?

If you love someone or miss someone just tell them, what have you got to lose? Holding it in hurts more than letting it out (just think about your farts man, that trapped gas feeling is never pleasant, similar thing applies with unspoken words) Remember nobody knows when their time is up so never leave any words unspoken. On that note I just want to thank those who have supported me in my darkest of hours.. remember; 'Happiness can always be found, even in the darkest of times, if one just remembers to turn on the light'

(my apologies to those who may find errors in my punctuation etc. I gave it my best shot and to be honest I ain't got time for giving a shit about it)

Fix up, look sharp

Stefi xoxo

Changes.

Hey beauties,

I thought I would write a post as it's been so long, literally.. like almost a year?!
So here is what I have been doing..
First of all I have FINALLY finished University and managed to graduate with a 2:2! I am so pleased with this result and anybody who is/has been close to me will know how proud I am of myself for achieving that grade, it made all the hard work worth while.

It feels so surreal that three years have passed and I actually have to be an adult now. It's actually harder to adjust to adult life than my actual degree was, no joke. I've still got to master cooking and cleaning, but apparently creative people are messy people, so I think I'm going to use that as my excuse until I figure them out.

So after I graduated I wasted no time in putting myself out there career wise. I left Schuh in June of last year, after 5 years which was kind of crazy but it was time to make that move. I now work at Kurt Geiger, so apparently I can't keep away from shoes, I think they might be my weakness. I am loving my job and I feel like I have got an exciting career ahead of me with KG.

I've had a year full of changes and new beginnings but these are just a few examples I have shared with you. Changes are still happening too and they are even tougher, but I believe everything happens for a reason and that's what pulls me through. I am so thankful for the people who have been in my life and even more thankful for those who have stayed, but I've got love for you all for playing your part in my life. Is it strange to say I feel at peace? Or should I be using the term content? Whichever it is, that's how I feel. I don't have everything yet, but I am working on it. For now I am doing me, working on where I am going and learning from where I have been. Perseverance leads to progression and I am feeling positive for my future.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you didn't find it to heavy for a Sunday night..

Much love,

Stefi xoxo

Moving on & Facing fears..

Hey beauties! 

Sorry it's been a while, I've had some things going on.. But I'm gonna jump straight into this deep pool of words! 

I've recently come out of a relationship with someone who made me happy for the majority of a year. I'm not gonna lie, it came as a shock to me.. Caught me off guard and threw me to the cold concreted ground, confused and a little scared. 

I've battled for some time with some demons which have caused me to become detached from the world around me on an emotional level. It's difficult to describe.. but imagine being surrounded by people who love you.. But not being able to appreciate them the way you probably should. It's gets a lonely place when you can't escape your inner fears! It's easy to pretend everything is ok and carry on like life's peachy.. But tell me, what does this achieve when the going gets tough? 

I realise now that happiness is not something you gain from other people, it's something you get from yourself, your accomplishments and your doing. I'm not saying people don't help, of course my friends and family make me happy.. But sometimes when they aren't there and there is nobody to fill the gap it's difficult to remain that way. Especially when your biggest fear is people leaving you..

I've decided that from now on I'm gonna put me first, I've lived the past 4 years catering to the needs of people who disappear. Taking a handful of good memories and a broken heart from the experiences. I don't regret this though, I'm thankful that I have been loved and loved in return. Who doesn't want that? I don't feel sad or feel any regret anymore, just because something doesn't work out, doesn't mean you should live a lifetime with grudges. I did that for a while, I held my grudges. I believed that because I was hurting they should hurt 10x worse, but they shouldn't. They deserve to be happy too, like we all do. 

Letting go is hard, you've got to be brave and go it alone. My mum told me relationships are a learning curve, you learn to realise what you do and don't deserve. I'm not the oldest or the wisest girl in the world but I've had two very different and very meaningful relationships with two great guys, they just weren't great for me. Blaming yourself for a failed relationship is second nature, but there's no blame if it doesn't work out.. Especially if you tried. 

You should fall in love, you should get your heartbroken and you should get back up, smile and do it all over again until you meet the right person for you. 

Letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself, no matter how many 'what if's' you have about a past relationship that won't make them be 'the one' for you. If they were, they would have never left in the first place. Don't be scared though because I can guarantee you, someone is somewhere, but for now, learn to love yourself. 

I hope in some way, this may help someone. I'm a little scared to post this but I'm facing my fears, why don't you face yours with me? In the words of Bob Marley: don't worry, about a thing, 'cause every little thing.. Is gonna be alright. 

Thanks for reading beauties.. Il be back with a body shop haul and review soon! 

Stefi xoxo 

Illamasqua Haul..

Hey Beauties!

I am crazy obsessed with makeup at the minute, even more so than usual. So the other day my fingers slipped and I ended up on Illamasqua's website.. Oops. They have a sale on some of their products so it was kinda rude not to get involved, right? 

Here is what I picked up.. 

 

A box full of goodies! I cannot wait to try these out. I think a tutorial/make up look is in order, yes?! 

This beautiful eyeshadow is in the shade 'burst'. It is a deep blue colour with turquoise undertones. It's not something I would usually go for but I thought it was the perfect opportunity to try something new out with it being £6.20 reduced from £15.50.. Bargain. 

I have been really loving purples and lilacs for my eyes, I think they look beautiful with browns to create a smokey eye. This pretty little number is the shade 'cancan' and was also £6.20! 

Blusher time! Look how bright this is.. It is actually more purple toned than pink but my camera hasn't picked it up.. Boo! But you can still see how pretty the colour is, I think it may be my go to summer blush. This was £10.75 from a whopping £21.50!

 

I got another blusher in the shade 'peaked'. It's a velvet blusher and it comes out like a cream but finishes like a powder.. I think this would work well with a bb cream for a natural 'I'm wearing makeup, but I don't want you to know' look, if you know what I mean.. and for £10.75 I can afford to look like I am not wearing makeup.

I also picked up an illamasqua medium pencil in Uncanny which was only £5.50! This works as an eyeliner and an eyebrow pencil nothing like a 2 in 1!

 

How beaut is this metal cream pigment please? This is in the colour 'Solstice'. It was originally £17.50 and I picked it up for £7.00..

 

 

My final purchase is possibly the new love of my life, it is the Illamasqua lipstick in shade 'Posture'. It is just so perfect and purple! I was lusting over it for a while and as soon as pay day came around I added it straight to my basket.

 

If you would like to see a makeup look featuring these products I will get that done for you ASAP, just comment and let me know. Thank you for reading beauts!

Don't forget you can keep up with me via my Instagram where I post daily makeup and outfit looks!

 

Stefi xoxo

Aspirations..

Hey Beauties..

I'm getting those 'end of uni nerves' with me having less than 5 months left.. What am I meant to do with myself?!  It's such a scary thought not being able to use the 'I'm a student' excuse anymore.

I'm lucky enough to be blogging for the brand English Girl now and I absolutely love it and I would do blogging full time given the opportunity, I mean what's better than talking about fashion and makeup? Especially when the only thing I want to do is Fashion or Makeup.. You know? Blogging is what I love and is what I want to do professionally one day because I don't want to be stuck doing something my heart isn't in, so I guess It's time to fix up and make these final months count. 

Positive vibes on the blog this evening, I found this quote on Pinterest.. It inspired me so fingers crossed it inspires you too!

Take a leap of faith, you never know where is may take you.. Learn from your failures and embrace your successes. Anything is possible!

Stefi xoxo

I've been called by the the disco ball, follow it with me..

 

Hey Beauties,

 

I haven't been the best blogger recently, but as you can imagine I have been busy during the festive season doing nothing but WORK, whether it be because of my job or because of Uni.. So I think a little update is in order, yes?

 

So I received a very exciting email in December from an up and coming brand which I was lusting over, on their Instagram due to the hypnotic prints on their 'disco' garments. A women called Michelle, creator and mastermind behind the brand English Girl asked me.. yes me! If I would be interested in doing some blogging for them. How could I pass up on this kind of opportunity? I just couldn't, I love nothing more than an adventure and when it involves fashion, well, lets just say bet your bottom dollar I ain't gonna say no!

 

So anyway, in a nut shell I was asked to put together some ideas for herself ready to reveal tomorrow and fingers crossed, you will be able to follow me on this adventure along side the rest of the team behind it.

 

The clothing is due to launch end of February/Early March time and their S/S collection is a paisley dream, a print synonymous with their brand. The print on their garments tells a story and that's what has made me fall in love, there is so much passion and culture that has gone into the print, it's almost as if you're wearing a short story!

 

Here's a few sneak peaks of some of the things you can look forward too..

 

 

Exciting, yes?! Keep your eyes pealed, I've got a feeling you won't want to miss a detail.

 

Stefi xoxo

 

Christmas Party - The Lookbook

Hey Beauties!

Sorry it has been a while, I've always been skilled at bad time keeping! I have a few festive events coming up so I've been trying to gather some outfits ready for the party season so what's better than a post filled with fashion inspo for your festivities?!

 

Here are 4 different outfits I have chosen and how I style each one, enjoy..

 

Dress: OHMYLOVE

Bag: River Island

Shoes: Schuh

 

 

Two Piece: Missguided

Shoes: River Island (OLD)

 

 

 

Dress: Missguided

Shoes: Schuh

Bag: River Island

 

Playsuit: OHMYLOVE

Necklace: Primark (OLD)

Choker: Miss Selfridge (OLD)

Shoes: Topshop (OLD)

 

... and there it is, my 4 key items for the party season. Comment and let me know which is your fave outfit combo as I don't know which to choose for my work night out next Saturday - girl struggles!

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Hope you enjoyed this little post and thank you for reading beauties,

Stefi xoxo